De Ecretariatu Piglattinensi Constitutendo

Caleb Castaneda, Mundanus, Ambassador of the Venusian Confederation, Vicar of Kermit, Fabulous Custodian of the Rainbow, and Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx,

to all citizens of the Venusian diaspora,
and to all who labor joyfully in the arts of linguistic play:

Love, laughter, and multiplicity.

I. Reason for This Decree

  1. Whereas language is a tool of power, and whereas solemn tongues may become instruments of domination when left without counterbalance, and
  2. Whereas the Venusian diaspora delights in subversion, wonder, and the gleeful dismantling of unnecessary pomp, and
  3. Whereas Pig Latin has long served as a harmless and cherished vehicle for the joyful unmasking of linguistic pretension,
  4. It is deemed fitting and proper that the Embassy establish an office devoted to maintaining this sacred silliness.

II. Establishment of the Secretariat

  1. Therefore, by the whimsical authority entrusted to me as Mundanus,
    I hereby constitute and ordain the
ECRETARIATSAY ORFAY IGLATTINUMPAY

as an official office of the Embassy of the Venusian Confederation.

  1. The Secretariat shall be housed under the auspices of the Office of Linguistic Absurdities, which is hereby recognized as a legitimate, but entirely unnecessary, bureau of the Embassy.

III. Duties and Responsibilities

  1. The Secretariat is charged with the solemn and unnecessary duty of:
    1. safeguarding the ancient and utterly fabricated traditions of Pig Latin scholarship,
    2. maintaining official Pig Latin translations of sacred, bureaucratic, and diplomatic documents,
    3. preparing appendices for Mundanal Encyclicals upon request,
    4. ensuring that all pomp, especially that which resembles ecclesiastical Latin, is adequately mocked in accordance with Venusian law,
    5. and responding to all inquiries with due frivolity.
  2. Let it be known that no language is too sacred to be joyfully dismantled by this office.

IV. Rights of the Diaspora

  1. Any citizen of the Venusian Confederation may petition the EcretariatSay for a Pig Latin translation of:
    1. a Mundanal Encyclical,
    2. a diplomatic letter,
    3. an administrative ordinance,
    4. or any other text whose seriousness begs to be undermined.
  2. The Secretariat shall provide such translations in keeping with the ancient tradition of “do it when you get around to it.”

V. Promulgation

  1. Let this decree be recorded in the archives of the Embassy and made available to all lovers of linguistic nonsense.
  2. This decree binds no one but encourages all.

Given at the Embassy of the Venusian Confederation, this 17th day of November, year 2025 according to the Common Era, under the watchful gaze of the Morning Star.

Caleb Castaneda, Mundanus
Ambassador of the Venusian Confederation

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